Good Friday

Today marks the day that Jesus died on the cross... and the word good in front of today is finally sinking in a little bit. I never understood it growing up... death just isn't a good thing. Call it good Easter and leave just Friday in my opinion.

Last night at the church we had a presentation from a completed Jew about the meaning of the Passover Seder (the meal the family has). There was a part where they play a game with unleavened bread. They wrap it in a napkin, place it somewhere in the house, and then send the kids out to go find it. When they find it, they take the bread from the napkin and distribute it in olive size bites to everyone present. This picture stuck out to me because Christ's body was literally and figuratively broken for me. It was broken for you who are reading this. It was broken for people you are going to see with your very own eyes today. And it was broken for people that you will think about. He died so that we may live... not just on Earth but in heaven after death. My life is now eternal.

The funny thing about that is now I just want to give it away. There are days I genuinelly struggle with this, but in principle I feel free to give my life away to others... I was bought with a price and I choose to be in submission to the Lord in whom I love with my whole heart. He gives me such hope that I can't even explain it. When I think about Him, I can't be consumed with worldly things or even worldly problems. They're still there, but they don't control my life anymore.

Jesus gives me meaning in life. Without that I don't know what I would believe in. I would be a different person. I wouldn't be who I know as myself. But when Jesus went to the cross, he died for my sin before it was even committed. He's infinite, outside of time as we understand it. He's omni-present... He can be everywhere at once. What in the world would that be like? How...

Jesus, I love you. I love that I can't understand you. I love that I can find rest in awe. Thank you for today, for hearing insults that you didn't deserve. For taking beatings that were meant for us. Thank you for sacrificing your life and not being scared. Thank you for following through, fulfilling prophecy that had been told hundreds of years before your birth. You felt things on this day that I'll never have to. You saw hate like I will never experience. But because of the love you had for me, you're now the love of my life. Above my wife, above my family, above my friends... I love you more than anything in my life. I find security in you, I feel you growing me and pushing me towards more meaningful things everyday of my life. I feel you living inside of me and pushing me out of my comfort zone. I hear you in the morning making verses come alive to me and helping me understand why they're coming alive at this stage in my life. I know you're preparing me for my life and glorifying yourself through the process. Help Becky and I die to ourselves and let this day serve as a reminder to always do that. Thank you for giving me a joy that doesn't make sense.